How not to fall in love con un Dominicano

Written by: Sydney Valerio

Step 1:

Recognize and accept the PTHSD (Post-Trujillo Hyper Sexual Disorder) the community has faced and understand how it justifies his concubine-building tendencies.

Step 2:

Do not dance merengue or bachata with him for this will be elegant, transformative and sensual.

Step 3:

Do not call him ‘papi’ because this will solidify his possession over you.  Equally, don’t respond to his calling you ‘mami’ for this will indulge your ego in more ways than one.

Step 4:

Do not accept his chivalry as a form of respect—it is part of his game.

Step 5: Do not forget he may be into you para mangarte la visa.  Remember, although the sum of money may take care of some of your student debt, there is no amount of money that will forgive you placing a price on your spirit, soul and possibly freedom.

Step 6:

Just because his children live in the D.R. doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a family. Starting over in the U.S. is a privilege the men get to enjoy.  Unknowingly, you may have a woman in the D.R. suffering because of your joy.  You don’t need that kind of karma in your life.

Step 7:

Do not care about his feelings for they are as transient as his heart.

Step 8:

Most importantly, do not engage, do not engage, do – not- engage!  If you do, acuérdate: camarón que se duerme se lo lleva la corriente.

About the author:

Sydney Valerio, a Bronx Latina of Dominican heritage, enjoys writing about the socio-cultural aspects of life that shape our perspective. She is an educator by trade and a New Yorker by birthright. Her poetry writing journey began as part of the Sunday Writing Circle, a workshop that is part of the Full Circle Ensemble. She hopes one day to publish her collection of writings so that they can be catalogued in the library located in her childhood neighborhood of Kingsbridge Road and University Avenue in the Bronx, N.Y.

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